Episode. Forged by Pressure: Ron Rubin on Character, Discipline, and Quiet Leadership
Transcript
Ron Rubin - 00:00.056
I didn't have a safe space anymore. I would go to school and I would be prepared to fight the anti-Semitic kids or the bullies. And I'd come home and I'd have to be prepared at some point in time that my mother was going to be physically abusive. It wasn't every day, but it was weekly and enough so my high alert was constant. I had it at home and I had it at school. And what came out of that for me, Gary, was I decided that the only way I could be happy was to have incredible determination and fortitude. And as much as I came up upon these challenges, I used it as a way to work harder and strive. And so as a result, I created almost an instinctive reflex that when I had adversity, my response was to work harder and stay more determined. And it was a confluence of events that obviously was very difficult for me. But when I look back on it, there's something about it that I honor and appreciate because had I not had that, I don't think I would have developed the determination and skillset that later in life afforded me a lot of advantages.
Theme Music - 01:30.222
The ownership game with Gary Montalvo. What would it take to get into the driver's seat of your life and leave your mark? The ownership game starts now.
There's a certain kind of wisdom that doesn't come from books or podcasts or personal development programs. It comes from pain, from pressure. My guest today, Ron Rubin, is someone who was forged in that kind of pressure. Ron grew up in a tough neighborhood in New York City, and he spent the early years of his life navigating violence, abuse, and anti-Semitism. As a result,
He learned to live on high alert, to scan every room and to never let his guard down. But Ron's story isn't about survival. It's about something deeper. It's about a man who channeled all of that adversity into character. Today, Ron is a successful entrepreneur, a respected financial advisor and a man who's known for his discipline, kindness and insight. But underneath it all, it's a story of healing, self mastery and a quiet kind of leadership that doesn't get talked about enough. If you've ever felt like life hardened you in ways that you're still trying to undo. If you've had to fight your way to stability, but now you want peace. If you're done surviving and you're ready to create something deeper, I think this episode is for you. So let's get into it.
Okay, we're so excited. I'm so excited. We've been this has been an interview a year in the making I think I think we've been trying to make this happen. So I'm so excited to have you here Ron I think the world of you I think you just have are gonna just have so much nuggets so many nuggets for people And Yeah, I'm just really excited to finally talk to you brother. Thank you so much for making the time to be here. I know you're so busy
Ron Rubin - 03:18.968
Thank
Ron Rubin - 03:41.922
Well, thank you for having me. I am equally excited and I'm looking forward to this conversation and I have been for a year as well.
Yeah, so I think we should start by disclosing that we, the way that Ron and I know each other is we have a mutual friend, Jennifer, who's a friend of the show. And we haven't had her as a guest yet, but she's always supporting and sharing the show. And she was like, you have to interview my friend Ron. And so we had this conversation and I was like, I have to interview your friend Ron, you're right.
And we've been trying to make it work and scheduling and stuff and all that. So we're finally here. And I know that Jennifer is going to be so ecstatic that we finally made this work. So, Ron, I, you know, you have accomplished a lot in your life. You know, you've been a very successful life, have had a very successful life. And I think I want to start from the beginning before we get into what you do and give people context for that cause I think one of things that's really interesting about you is that you, think by all accounts, you would define yourself as a self-made man, right? Like you didn't necessarily, you know, come from the background that would lend itself to creating the success that you have. Like you're a real American story in that way. And, and I think that's an interesting story to dig into. so can you like, let's go back, paint the picture.
Where did you grow up? What was life like for you? And let's give them some background.
Ron Rubin - 05:22.958
Sure. So, you know, like a lot of people, my grandparents immigrated here to the United States in, you know, the very early 1900s, just to escape anti-Semitism and persecution. And my parents were the first generation of people born in the United States. So as a result, they were really focused on education, really focused on pursuing the American dream.
So I think one of the first components of my success and just the life I've had has been the emphasis on education. was always, think if you look at any immigrant community, the focus is on education, right? Get that diploma, get that degree, get another degree, and they can never take that away from you. And that was very much instilled in me when I was a boy.
You know, up until now, I strongly believe in that philosophy. So my parents, we lived in Newark, New Jersey, which at the time was an area that got hit pretty hard by the riots in the late 1960s. And we moved out of the area just for safety reasons. And when we moved, we ended up in a community that was pretty blue collar.
That was kind of contrary to the environment that my grandparents and parents, I think, had envisioned for us. So as a result, I was in a school where educational success, intellect was not only not emphasized, but it was looked down upon. And I remember being really an eager learner and there was a...
I was disparaged for it. so that was kind of how I started out. And it was, you know, at the time I didn't realize it, but it was a very important and sobering point in my life. And it very much changed my childhood. And as a result, my trajectory as an adult.
Gary Montalvo - 07:41.718
Mm-hmm. So are we saying that it was, was it like bullying? Like what are we talking about here?
So definitely there was bullying around being a kid who cared about his grades and who was in the smart class. There was a significant amount of antisemitism. I was, I think, one of two or three Jewish kids in the whole school system. So I was definitely looked out as an outcast. And as a result, as I got older,
What started out as verbal taunts became, you know, physical confrontations. And probably around the time I hit fifth or sixth grade, I was pretty much ready every day to have some type of physical altercation with different kids in my school. And it was tough. It was tough. As a result, I would be ready. I was on high alert almost all the time and it's exhausting. Right.
Who knows what it even did to my, you know, my nervous system, but I was, you know, I really felt at all times I needed to be on alert and, know, invariably on the way to or from school, I would have a fist fight and yeah. And it made me tough. made me resilient, but it was also really detrimental, you know, to my focus on my schoolwork. And, you know, at that same time, interestingly enough, thing will go down.
Ron Rubin - 09:17.568
My mother was volunteering in an organization that supported people who were suffering from cancer. And this organization would do pickups and drop-offs of the patient for their treatments, of their children to and from school or sports or whatever practices. And one of the people who my mother was doing volunteer work for who was suffering from cancer was a mother of one of the boys at the school who was bullying. And I remember when I first became aware of it, I was really too young to understand it fully, to process it. But it was a really interesting moment. And I do remember feeling both contempt for this kid because he was physically a lot bigger than me and could hurt me when we'd have physical altercations.
But I also remember thinking that he must be suffering. And I didn't, you I don't know if I felt compassion, but I was aware of the fact that this kid had a really sick mother who could die. And it was a seminal moment. Now, that happened probably around fifth or sixth grade, around the same time as my parents...started becoming physically abusive to me.
Hmm.
Ron Rubin - 10:48.142
So what happened was both my parents would initially, you know, the traditional spanking, right, that they did then became much more abusive. And my mother, without question, became just physically abusive on a consistent, irregular basis. So what happened was I didn't have a safe space anymore. I would go to school and I would be prepared to fight.
The, the, antisemitic kids or the bullies and I'd come home and I'd have to be prepared at some point in time that, you know, my mother was going to be physically abusive and it wasn't every day, but it was weekly and enough. my high alert was constant. had it at home and I had it at school. And what came out of that for me, Gary was I decided that the only way I could be happy was to have incredible determination and fortitude. as much as I came up upon these challenges, I used it as a way to work harder and strive. And so as a result, I created almost an instinctive reflex that when I had adversity, my response was to work harder.
Hmm.
Gary Montalvo - 12:11.0
Work hard kick it kick it ass
and stay more determined. you know, it was, it was a confluence of events that obviously was very difficult for me. But when I look back on it, there's something about it that I honor and appreciate because had I not had that, I don't think I would have developed the, the determination and skillset that later in life afforded me a lot of advantages.
Yeah, I have a similar experience. I was bullied as well. I don't know to the severity that you were. I don't, I I didn't have a lot of physical altercations, thank God. Because I don't know what would have done in that department. But it, but I, I, you know, and I remember the, so for me it was for being gay. So I remember changing schools, because I moved quite a bit as a kid. And it was almost like they called the kid ahead. They called him ahead and said, hey, he's coming. And I'm like, what? And I would go like, OK, I'm starting you. Great. And then it's like, nope. Here we are again. And when I look back on it, it's one of those things that, yeah, it was incredibly hard. It was incredibly painful. But I wouldn't change it, because it made me who I am, right? But I don't know that everybody takes that point of view in those situations. feel like there's also a lot of people that replay those experiences over again. And I'm not like trying to poo poo anybody or anything like that, but I do think that there is something about being able to take those experiences and harness the lessons from them and use them to propel you forward.
Gary Montalvo - 13:56.92
Versus using them to replay a story and be right about a story about yourself. Yeah.
But the thing that I still think about, if you're born gay, if you're born Jewish, if you're born whatever way, with some type of physical or mental challenge, you didn't choose that, you didn't help that, that's just how you are. So to me, there seems to be something just massively unfair about… you haven't been bullied for the reasons you were bullied or me having to fight for the reasons I had to fight. Yeah. And, you know, I just it's it's I've never been able to connect the dots around it to understand what it is other than maybe, you know, a lot of these kids had their own issues that they were taking out on you or the kids in my school taking out on me. But I remember I remember distinctly thinking like, gosh,
If I weren't born Jewish, if I would have just had a different religion, I probably wouldn't be contending with this. you know, there was a certain irony to that, that I, as a kid, I just remember thinking like, gosh, just that one little thing. And I didn't think of religion as anything, you know, that relevant, right? And I still don't.
Anyway, so I, well, I'm sorry you had that experience and I'm glad you, you know, you turned it in, you know, into lemonade.
Gary Montalvo - 15:35.822
Thank you, same to you. So then talk to me, you started to have this experience, how were your teenage years? with you being passionate about education, I assume you got in college at some point. And so talk to me a little bit about that bridge.
So what happened was when I got into high school, I started to become a pretty good athlete and I started to fill out and I ended up wrestling for the wrestling team and I made the varsity team at a pretty young age and I really appreciated the reward of the hard work that I was putting in and I definitely wasn't the most athletic kid on the team, but I tried to work harder than anyone.
And I started to understand the mindset more consciously that I developed as a kid where I worked harder academically, the harder it was. So that hard work ethic was really forged because of wrestling. And it really changed who I was. So I had a good academic career in high school and a good athletic career and then I went to college.
I'm assuming the bullying stopped at this point because they could tell you were going to kick their ass.
Ron Rubin - 17:02.958
Yeah, it stopped and so the other thing that happened was I never I never reported it to my parents. I don't know why But maybe I was trying to shield them from it I don't know but I should have told them and You know the irony was I was getting you know, I was getting I was having altercations at home, right? You know but so when when when I was about 14, 15, my parents moved to a school with a better academic record. And so that school, everyone was more focused on sports, athletics. There was no bullying. was a very diverse community. The community we came from was very homogenous. So I stuck out more. And when you're one of a small group, it's easy to be singled out. So when we moved...
things got a lot better for me. So I went to college, I studied economics and I had four really good growing years. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about how to study, how to learn. And I understood that then that I was very interested in learning. have a still an innate curiosity about things, about certainly people. And it became clear to me that just the idea of being a lifetime learner was something I was committed to and I still am. So when I got out of college, my dad had a small stationary company and he had asked me to work with him and he had this vision that one day he would retire. I would take over the stationary company and off we'd go. So I said, okay, so I, I, I drove trucks.
His truck, his delivery truck during the summers of my college years in preparation of understanding the business from the ground up. And when I graduated from college, I went into sales at his company and immediately I could see that he didn't have the same work ethic as me, that he was not as focused and driven as I was. shortly thereafter, Staples came into existence.
Ron Rubin - 19:29.21
And his business lasted one more year. And that was it. And that was a very interesting and difficult moment for me because I got to see my father. Every young person has that moment where they stop seeing their parents as all wise, all knowing. We see them as a person. And I saw my dad as a person then.
I also realized at that time that he had a drinking and drug problem. And I was able to understand as a young adult, that drinking and drug problem had always been part of the picture. just was at 10 years old. just wasn't aware of it. So that, that was a, another, you really impactful moment for me. And as a result, I became very aware of the impact of habits and a lifestyle that doesn't support the person you want to be, the lifestyle you want to be, the success you want to achieve. And so after my father's business went under, I watched him, over a period of many years, devolve into a full-blown alcoholic and drug addict. And, you know, eventually he became incapable of taking care of himself and making a living. yeah, it was a, again, a very sobering, if you'll excuse the pun, a sobering moment for me to watch him fall apart like that. Because he was someone who I always had this sense of awe in his ability to outthink people, to be creative, to, you know, the expression that I use sometimes is to see around corners.
And so he, he was an incredible entrepreneur and before, laser toners really hit their stride, he went and negotiated a contract with Hewlett Packard to sell laser toner cartridges. And overnight he had lots of money again, and he squandered it because of his alcohol and drugs. And then, a couple of years later, he, decided that he was going to start marketing.
Ron Rubin - 21:53.888
The, they weren't Nespresso machines, but the earliest version of Nespresso machines to rent offices. So you can get one cup at a time, fresh brewed coffee or cappuccino. And again, he hit it really big, squandered his money because of alcohol and drugs. And so he had that happen a number of times. And I remember learning from that and understanding, well, wait a second. It's not just key, the key,
to having a good idea and executing it, but it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. so, know, and then, so one of the philosophies I have in my life, and it really was hatched around that point in my life, my young adult years is you don't get to choose your life, you get to choose your habits. if you choose the right habits, or the wrong habits,
That's good.
That's the kind of life you have. And I watched my father make really bad choices around his habits. you right before we got on this call, I had mentioned to you, I ran to the gym at lunch today because I didn't, I had an early meeting this morning. And so to me, that's one of the habits is just a commitment to health, whether it's your gym or how you eat or sleep or whatever. Right. Like if you, if you commit to that habit, you know, you, get to enjoy the dividends.
And so for me, watching my father just fall apart like that. And in fact, you know, the night my, my mother finally realized like this guy is a drug addict and alcoholic and he's not committed to changing. you know, she came home and found him passed out and she called nine one one and they rushed him to the hospital. They resuscitated him and she left him. And so, you know, for me.
Ron Rubin - 23:49.112
That was a really intense moment, again, it created a lot of insight as far as the choices you make and how you ultimately have to live with them.
Yeah, it should follow us still with us
No. my father, you know, I, know, my brother and I joke, we should have donated his body to science. So they could have figured out how someone who puts so much drugs and alcohol in his body could make it to age 80. he, he got COVID and he passed from COVID. But I think it was really the fact that he was 80, but he had 180 years of living on his body. mean, he, went hard every day and so when he got sick he just he didn't his he didn't have the the physical resources to fight it his body just shut down and he passed but you know he he got he got his money's worth i'd say
So when did you start your business in all of this?
Ron Rubin - 24:57.678
So what happened was I had a brother who was at an Ivy League school getting his master's in business. And at that time I told my father I was going to go into financial services. And his response was, well, at least I can tell my friends your brother graduated from an Ivy League school. I don't think he... I don't know. I think he just didn't expect me to succeed.
But I knew that I had the fortitude to persevere until I became successful. So I, you know, at a very young age, having had the experience of watching my father's stationary business fail, I was, I was very committed. I worked five years without a day off every day, seven days a week for five years. And
Mm-hmm.
Ron Rubin - 25:56.832
I did everything that the management company where I work told me to do times two. So if they told me to have five appointments for the week, I would have 10. If they told me to call 20 people, I called 40. And I kept that up. And the other thing that I did during that time was I sought out the most successful people in financial services up and down the East coast. And I would call them up and I would say, Hi, Gary, my name's Ron. I'm in financial services.
I have a lot of respect and esteem for your success and your name in the business. I'm wondering if I can come to your office and spend an hour and just learn what you know because I aspire to have the kind of career, half the career that you've had. And you one of the things about successful people is, know, quite often...
We love talking about it. Yes.
So what I did was I made a commitment that every month I would find someone who was successful and experienced in financial services and get in front of them. And I did it for 10 years and I kept it. I kept a book and I would record all these conversations and I kept I had 120 interviews I did. what happened was. Yeah. And so over time.
Really?
Ron Rubin - 27:19.03
I started to see some commonalities with these guys, right? And women. Some of them were extremely personable, but some of them weren't. Some of them were quiet, almost antisocial. But the one thing that I saw was that they had focus. They had drive, tremendous drive. They were creative and they were flexible. And so as I, as I,
went through this 10 year period. And during that 10 years, I started to become successful. I started to make some money and get some really prominent clients and get momentum. But the one thing I started seeing was, wait a second. I actually am, you know, harder worker than this person. I'm probably equally creative. I can't imagine I'm not more driven than them. I mean, maybe it's a tie.
Hmm.
Ron Rubin - 28:17.454
but no one is more driven than me. And I am creative and I am flexible. And so what was happening is certainly the last few years of those 10 years, I was talking to people and I knew that I had a higher ceiling than they did. Now they may have had 30 years of a headstart, so I had to catch up, but I knew that my ceiling was super high.
And so for me, it was a really powerful moment in my belief systems because I understood that I was going to be as successful as I wanted to be because of all those traits that I had developed through a lot of trauma and a lot of challenges. But as I started to speak to these professionals, I realized I had all the ingredients.
So that was an extremely powerful experience. And one of the things that I started noticing about financial services is, you know, there's a commercial right now on TV where they make fun of this guy. I don't remember which financial service firm it is, but they call him like Carl the stockbroker. And they make fun of this guy and he's
You know, he's not transparent. He's a little shifty and that reputation has been well earned. And there's a lot of bad actors in financial services. And when I realized that and connected the dot to probably why my father disparaged me about going into financial services because he had that same negative opinion.
I decided I was going to go the opposite direction. one of the things that became really a hallmark of, of me and my business was we were going to be completely transparent. We were going to service the clients better than anyone else could. We were going to be in touch with them on a systematic and regular basis. And we were going to include their other advisors so we could have a team approach.
Ron Rubin - 30:38.626
Because if you go for surgery, one of the things that always happens is your surgeon, your anesthesiologist, and the operating room nurse all huddle and they have a conversation. So when the patient rolls in, everyone knows what the plan is. So I've always used that as an analogy. So for me, I took all the things about financial services that were a source of criticism and negativity, and I would explain to clients and their advisors, well,
Let me tell you about my dad. And I actually told that story hundreds and hundreds of times to explain how I crafted my values, my business, what I stand for. And it worked. I've been blessed. I've had an incredible, and I continue to have an incredible,
Yeah, you're so good, my goodness. So I want to go back to, because I think what your story of the interview is just like gold. And I hope that people are listening and like taking notes because you just dropped some really big gems. know, the what I'm present to is the the there's something really bold about you just repeatedly asking people, hey, can I have an hour of your time? Which is like, so many people shy away and get insecure and won't do that. And the systematic approach that you had, where it's like, okay, one person a month, writing it down. By the way, have you thought of making a book with all those interviews? Because that would be gold.
I have thought about it. You know, look, a book, think for everyone, Gary, represents a certain mountain that we want to climb. We just, we're not sure when we're going to start.
Gary Montalvo - 32:39.968
Right? I'm remembering now you on my pre-interview. So Ron was getting on me about my book when we did our pre-interview for the show. Yeah, I know. I totally get it. I totally get it. But that was the first thing I thought. I'm like, huh, that would be really interesting. Like 150 little short essays and the four pillars that you distinguished that all these people had in common, you know.
But I love that you use those conversations to reshape your belief about yourself. And I think what I'm really present to Ron is there is a way in which you are.
I don't want to phrase this. It's almost like there's a commitment to be empowered. You know, like there's a commitment to take what shows up and turn it into lemonade to find a way to, you know, you know, and it's not about, like, you're not, you're not trying to skip the line. You're not trying to rush to it. You're, you're, willing to do all the work, but there's just a way that you approach this systematically and patiently and that I think it's a valuable lesson in everything that you're weaving.
Thanks, Gary. Yeah, look, you know, sometimes things haven't gone exactly the way I've wanted, but I've always taken ownership of it. And the reason why I say that is because it's not always going to be a smooth path. And the most important times to be resilient are when it's not going well. It's really easy to me what character is, how character is defined, is doing the right thing, even when it's really hard to do.
Ron Rubin - 34:28.936
And I'll just share one story with you, if I may. So a number of years ago, I had a person who serves in a role called a corporate trustee, and their role is to oversee and manage assets in a pension plan. And so we hired this guy to do this for a number of our clients. And he basically did what Bernie Madoff did and he created fictitious statements and he was sending it to my client. So I get a call from the FBI your clients well.
Ron Rubin - 35:11.404
And the FBI says no.
That's a bad day.
That's a bad day. So they said, we'd like to talk to you in relation to this guy and the work you've done with them. anyway, to make a long story short, this guy goes to jail and my clients, some of them are out a lot of money. So what I did was I found a lawyer who specialized in this type of law.
And I told all of my clients that I would not be able to speak to them probably for three years, four years until the court cases were over. But I wanted them to hire this attorney, even if the attorney's recommendation was to include me in the lawsuit. And I set up a meeting. They all met this attorney. They all hired him. They put together, you know, a team oriented approach and they recovered if not a hundred percent.
over 90 % some of them at the low end and everything turned out okay. And at the end of the three years, I re-engaged with them and they all remain my clients to today. So my, you know, my point is I took ownership of that situation the best way I knew how it was really hard, really hard. One of the worst chapters of my life. I was, I was so upset, but
Ron Rubin - 36:43.522
We got through it and these people all knew that I handled things with integrity and character and that they wanted to remain in business with me because they got to see me in the worst possible situation. And I came through it with a degree of grace and awfulness that they wouldn't have known about had it not
Probably a deeper relationship than was already there because they saw how you showed up. often people end up having more respect for us when they see how we take ownership, when we see how we show up in these situations, we're not deflecting. So I'm sure that for them it was like, this guy is like the real deal.
Yeah. And look at, know, I think you learn how to handle challenges because of the things, you went through when you were in school and bullied, you know, things that I went through. so as a result, when those moments come up, we know how to meet them. And, know, obviously we'd rather not have had that history, but once you do, you kind of have a blueprint in survival. Because, right, people who haven't had to do that.
who haven't had to find that extra gear to get through a tough situation, I think they may struggle more than someone like you or me.
Yeah. So how many years were you in working with this company before you started your own company?
Ron Rubin - 38:18.696
I was with that company.
Ron Rubin - 38:24.149
Seven years.
Seven years and then you go ahead you're gonna something
Yeah. So what happened was during those seven years, I just asked a ton of questions and I always, you know, as you can tell from that story of interviewing all the successful people, I always asked people about, you know, what they did, how they did it. I, I wanted to lift the hood up and understand what was under it, how the gears all fit together, the mechanics of a business. I was always a student and I'm still a student today, I think, you know, because I have this innate curiosity of how things work. So.
As I was working with this first company and understanding what they were doing, I identified some things that I knew I could implement if I ever started my own company. And then there came a point where I said, okay, it's, it's time now. And I had, you know, I had acquired a decent amount of experience. I benefited greatly from all those interviews, which I continued to do. And.
When I started my own business, it was really hard. had saved up some money in my retirement plan and I cashed it all in because I needed it to start my business. I didn't have any money. My parents couldn't help me. They financially didn't have anything. They were just check to check. And I remember my friends telling me, you're crazy. Why would you do this? And I said, I believe.
Ron Rubin - 39:54.976
I believe in my vision and my work ethic and in 10 years I much rather know I at least tried and it didn't work than have that question of, I worked for this company and I was comfortable and I made a decent living, but I never really, you know, took any chances. And so to me, one of my favorite phrases is fortune favors the bold. So that's what I did. I boldly pursued it and I just, I worked my ass off.
And so it came together and I didn't make every decision the right way, but I made way more right decisions than not. And as a result, I continue to grow and learn and have to this day. And now really my focus has become a lot in education. think one of the things that I hope gets better is so many young people don't have a strong role model in their life. Many do and great. But I think, you know, as a man and as someone who can serve as a role model, I think it's great when you see people spending time doing community service, whether it's in sports, academics, you know, whatever volunteer role that they pursue. I think it's really important.
You know, one of the things that I shared with you when we prepared for today's talk was some of the most gratifying moments I've ever had have been in service of, of, people in, you know, kids and youth sports and knowing that having an adult that's going to show up every week and just be unconditionally supportive to me is, a dynamic that is in, in need. And.
You know, with so many kids that don't have that in their life, it's gonna be hard for them, harder for them than for the kid who does have that support. So for me, that's something I really, I enjoy more than anything.
Gary Montalvo - 42:07.15
Yeah, but it extends, you know, from what I can tell, it extends beyond just like working with kids in sports. Like there's something about you that is very much like just committed to mentorship, you know? Like I look at your interactions with our friend, Jennifer, and even with me, I mean, we're having a pre-interview.
for the show and to get you ready. you were giving me and supporting me and really encouraging me to write my book. And there's just a way that you are really committed to empowering and supporting others and sharing your knowledge that I think it's one of your secrets, you know?
Yeah. Well, look, I know that I developed that superpower, you know, being a cheerleader first on myself. Because if I couldn't exhort myself on, I mean, I'm Tonya Gary. I used to come home from school. I remember a couple instances there'd be particular corners or hedges and kids would be hiding behind them. And when I came by, the fight was on.
I keep picturing like an after-school special, the ones that you used to watch on ABC.
And quite often it was more than one kid. And I would get my shots in though. I would make sure like, listen, if you wanna have a fight with me, as unfair as this is, I'm gonna do whatever I can to convince you not to do it again. And eventually it worked. And I'm not suggesting I was a good fighter. I didn't wanna fight, but when I was forced to, I would make sure.
Ron Rubin - 44:00.086
That I landed shots or when I would get to school the next day, the two kids who jumped me, when I would see them one-on-one, I'd just go up to them and I'd crack them right in the jaw. And I would get into trouble. And I would tell the principal, they jumped me after school. And I did this because I don't want them to do it anymore. I got suspended a lot and I didn't know what else to do. Anyway, the point is,
I developed a fierce determination that I was going to be happy and successful. when I was 10, I didn't even know what that meant. But I was determined, like whatever it was I needed to get past and to, I was going to get there. So it's just part of my DNA now. So when I meet someone like you, who's this orb of brightness, of light, and has so much potential.
It's so easy for me to say, come on, Gary, like, let's go, man. You got it. Whatever it is you want to do, if you stay focused and you stay intentional, you're going to do it. So it's just how I'm hardwired. I, I find meeting people and getting to know them so inspiring because if they put their mind to it, pretty much anything is possible. And look at you, case in point.
Thank you, brother. Something else as you're speaking that I think probably was born out of your experiences as well is you are also very kind. And it stands out for me because when I think of financial services and people who have been as successful as you have,
The stereotypes are like cutthroat and you know, I'm out the money and you know, the strong arming people and but you are wildly kind and in an industry that doesn't seem to be kind in my, again, I may be stereotyping but yeah.
Ron Rubin - 46:12.366
So I don't disagree. I think a lot of people in pursuit of success forget that there's no right way to do the wrong thing.
Ron Rubin - 46:26.266
And I've always had the philosophy that I'm going to do for you and recommend for you what I would recommend for myself or friends and family that I love deeply. And I've adhered to that. And sometimes that means making less money short-term and that's okay. One of my favorite moments in business has been saying to people, you're all set. You don't need me.
You're in good shape. And so as a result, I, and I've done that a lot and I've done it whenever it's appropriate to do that. And so I've, I've created a lot of credibility in my community, in my, you know, with my client base, just because people are disarmed and quite often surprised for someone to say, you're good. There's nothing I can do to improve your situation. So.
You know, I, you know, feel strongly about that. I, I also am very excited about, you know, where things are headed for me. I still think the best is yet to come. and I can't, I can't specifically articulate what that looks like, but I wake up most days with a sense of enthusiasm that today's going to be really good. really special can happen. And I'm not sure what that might be, but I'll let you know when it does. And.
Gary, there's no question that came out of my childhood. If I didn't feel that I could be having a potentially great day, I wouldn't get out of bed. You know, between, you know, my, the physical abuse that I, you know, dealt with at home and at school, I, I wonder sometimes how come I didn't wither, but I didn't. I had, I had some kind of ancestral strength that was maybe forged over hundreds of generations, I'm not sure. But that's what I'm going with right now. So that ends up-
Gary Montalvo - 48:30.988
Yeah I'm sure that has something to do with it too
I don't know, I don't know, but...
No, but I think a lot of it was just the way that you chose to respond, know, the way that you chose, you know, the thing, one of the things you said to me that today that really resonated was this idea of you learned that you had to be your cheerleader. I mean, I think that is wildly important what you just said, because I...
You know, one of the things that I think messes with us the most is the judgment and the beat up and the ways that we are really unkind to ourselves, right? And I just really see a commitment from you to really like be your cheerleader and go, no, we're gonna make this work. And not from a place of like, not harshly, you know, like there's a tenderness even in the way that you're encouraging yourself and.
So that's beautiful. So I, know, for context, cause you said something, the, you said the brighter days ahead of you, but I think it's important for people to know that you just sold your company, right? So you're literally in this place of life now where, you know, this thing that you have been building for, so how, so I know you don't want to go into like the details of brag, but like, can you create some context for us as to what got accomplished with your company and
Gary Montalvo - 50:04.498
And just so that people understand just kind of what you have built because it is significant. And I think it's important for people to know that because it's inspirational.
Well, thank you.
So what the driving focus was, and if there was a mistake that I made, was I didn't build a large horizontal organization with lots of people. I built a vertical organization with me at the top, running it and doing business development and then supporting people operationally alongside me. I realized, as I started getting older and working with much younger clients, right? Some of these clients could be in their 20s. They're going to need help for the next 50 years, 60 years. And it became apparent that I go to the gym and I eat well, but 60 years is a bridge too far, right? I have to figure out what am I going to do to make sure that I can continue to commit to the promises that I'm making these people, right? I'm telling these young people like, you're going to be OK. Like, we're going to do this together and I'm going to help you. But I can't do that, you know, past a certain point. mean, one day I'm going to die. Right. So one of the things that not one of the things that driving the motivation for selling my business was I had to find a succession plan so I can continue to honor my commitments. And I did.
Ron Rubin - 51:47.766
And so, and all I want to say about that is the byproduct of it was, you know, very favorable for me, not just financially, but more so emotionally, because now I know that these commitments I've made for 35 years are going to be satisfied long after I'm not around. And I'm excited by that. Very excited by that. You know, I continue.
You know, and I will continue to work in financial services for the company who bought me. And I want to make sure the transition over the next five to 10 years happens in a really efficient, healthy way. But I have lots of other stuff too that I'm excited about pursuing and I will. But, you know, one of the things I wanted to mention earlier is I really, for me, I've always broken it down to three things.
Clarity right if you're clear on on what's important and where you're going right you have a roadmap I Think that that's super important. This the second thing is going to be Habits right if you have the habits that support the success the lifestyle, you know Whatever it is and then the
You know, the last part about that is a plan. What am I going to do today? What am I going to do tomorrow? And that may seem reductive. That may seem super simplistic. It isn't. And I've lived that. And every day when I wake up, I write down, I got right in front of me, I write down the three things I'm going to do today, the five things I'm going to do this week, the 10 things I'm going to do this month.
the 40 things I'm gonna do this quarter. And every single day I revisit it. So I've been fastidious with that. And I think when you approach anything with intentionality and focus and determination, what comes out in the end is magic.
Gary Montalvo - 53:58.722
Yeah, that is a brilliant place to end that conversation. So good. Ron, you are just a gem, man. I'm so honored to have you in my life, my friend's life. I think you just have, there's so much to learn from you and the way that you approach things and the kindness that you approach life, the generosity that you approach life.
That everybody can win while you're being successful and to bring up people with you, know, you know, bring everybody along for the journey. So I really, I'm just, thank you so much. And hopefully if not the last time we'll have you on the show.
Gary, I have to come on again just because in another year or two when you've got 50,000, 100,000, 200,000 people downloading your episode. Yeah. There's nothing else. I want to come on and congratulate you on your success. You know what? You have a good heart and a big heart. And that puts you right to the front of the class.
Yes.
Gary Montalvo - 55:11.784
It's a date. It's a date, my friend. You got it.
Thank you so much for having me. This was real. It was a treat and an honor. I really appreciate it.
Thank you, same here.
What I appreciate most about Ron's story is that it doesn't follow the usual script. This isn't just a rags to riches story. This isn't just a story of overcoming pain and coming out on top. It's about a man who faced real trauma and chaos, yes, but instead of letting it harden him, he made a conscious choice to use it to build character, to lead with clarity, to live a life of kindness.
That's the kind of leadership that rarely gets celebrated because it's quiet, it doesn't shout, it doesn't need the spotlight. But make no mistake, it's extremely powerful. Ron's story is a reminder that you are not what you survived. You are who you choose to become once you decide the past doesn't get to run the show. So if you're in a season where you are rethinking what success looks like for you,
Gary Montalvo - 56:24.504
You're tired of being in reaction and you're ready to build with intention. Let Ron's story be a signal that it's possible. You don't have to hustle to outrun your past. You can work hard like Ron did and still be grounded. You can build with discipline and still lead with heart. You can pursue excellence without abandoning yourself because the real power isn't in the grind.
real power is the intention behind it. It's in knowing who you are and choosing to move from that place every day. I want to give a massive thanks to Ron for sharing his story and for modeling a version of success that is rooted in soul and heart and not in ego. That is our show for this week. If you enjoyed the episode, don't forget to subscribe or follow. Show me some love by leaving a comment or review.
And most of all, share this episode with someone in your life who needs to hear Ron's story. As always, keep showing up, keep choosing your character, and keep playing the ownership game. We will see you next week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of The Ownership Game with your host, Gary Montalvo. Make sure to like and comment on your favorite podcast platform, as well as subscribe so that you never miss an episode.